Alvin raced a homebuilt ‘Duocoque’ chassis’d Yamaha XS-1 in Ireland in the early 70s. His career ended in 1973, following an incident, involving a ‘wedgie’ and a Norton monocoque.
Banished to America, Alvin replaced the telescopic forks on his race bike with upside-down girder spoons. Sadly, the rabies shots after being bitten by a racoon affected his balance and he could never ride again.
When I accidentally tuned into the Winter Olympics this week not only did I see Mr Matt Roberts, a former employee of yours doing some tele presenting but it dawned on me that the whole travesty of a collection of so-called sports could be so much better with a motorcycling element. And I think you could help.
I’ll admit that some of it is really exciting, but come on Carmelo, is Curling really a sport? I mean it’s just pushing an 18kg stone in a straight line with minimal effort while someone else does a bit of housework in front. My old dad – a multiple champion in ferret-agility training – used to say ‘It can’t be a sport if you don’t sweat.’ See snooker, darts or even fishing as other examples.
Apparently, one of the Russian curling competitors was stripped of his bronze medal because of doping. Seriously, performance-enhancing drug use for pushing a stone along some ice? What was it, Lemsip?
That said, Ski Cross is brilliant and, even though I’d not even heard of it until today, it’s as gripping as the first lap of a World Superbike race (until J. Rea disappears into the distance). And this is where you come in. For the two-wheeled racing lovers among us I reckon the solution to spicing up the whole Winter Olympics charade would be to introduce the MotoGP grid. In the colours of their homeland competing in a series of disciplines using two-wheels that are still representative of these professed winter ‘sports’.
When the flag drops on the final test day at Valencia in October instead of us race fans heading to twitter with our calculations of how many days there are until the first race of next season, we can look forward to some serious competition instead. And it doesn’t need to take place every four years. We might as well have three practice, yet also competitive, years before each Winter Olympics…or Winter Moto-lympics as it can now be called:
If the South Koreans or even the Dubai shopping malls can import snow then I’m sure the Spain can be an ideal host for the inaugural event. Our local B&Q can do you a good deal on fake snow at this time of year.
What do you say?
Ciao for now,